Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Smack Me Now...

   Have you ever just hauled off and smacked someone?? Or wished you could??  I believe that public, random smacking is an effective human control tactic-too bad it's not legal.  I'm sure alot of the world's problems (and wars even) could have been averted by simply smacking someone ala the Gibbs character from NCIS.
    I know my dad would be in favor of this.  growing up, he used to say, "Well, smack 'em, Smee" (I'm not sure who Smee was....) and today he's still known for verbally expressing when someone is in need of a good smack.
     Before the NCIS show aired, I was in highschool.  I had bought into the whole "smack them and they will learn" philosophy.  However, I was still figuring out the best smacking strategy.  My favorite targets were boys.  C'mon, highschool boys?  They are all in dire need of a good smack.  Now, I knew that the face smack should be reserved for moments of embarrassment or to invoke shame.  I tended to opt for a semi-awkward shoulder smack.  My most memorable one was at my 15th birthday party- my boyfriend had lied to me, in an effort to surprise me.  Unbeknownst to him, I had found out.  I had a few days to devise a plan, so I did.  The moment I saw him, I would look very surprises as I rushed up to him...then I would nail him with a well-deserved smack!  I had intended for it to be a private moment, but, instead, he held his entrance until the party was underway and we had a crowd....I'm sure many of them still remember that moment... I don't care what your reasoning is, I do not appreciate being lied to.
     After watching NCIS, I believe that Gibb's method of smacking (one quick smack to the back of the head) is probably the safest and most humane form of smacking.  The most current deserving recipient of a smack from me??  My college English professor (I just started back to school this summer!).  After alluding to "programs" of a dvd(s) in the course syllabus, I waited until after he posted class announcements to call him and ask for the title of the dvd(s).  I was sorely disappointed (not to mention agitated) when he admitted that he did not know the title.  What?!?? How can you assign work, and not know what work you are assigning???  Then he proceeded to tell me that I could just go to my local CMC campus (a half hour drive-talk about inconvenient) and they should have the dvds behind the counter (so....I just go in and ask the receptionist for whatever dvds are lurking under her desk??).  My immediate reaction was to (say it with me now) SMACK HIM!!!!  Unfortunately for me (and him), this class is online, so my chances of a face-to face (or hand-to-head) meeting are slim.  Beyond slim if you count the fact that his cell phone area code showed up as NY.  Oh, well.  It is illegal.....for now...

Saturday, May 26, 2012

   As a busy mom of three, I don't usually have time to flip through magazines to stay current with the latest fashion do's and don'ts....However, thanks to, I've discovered a new website that will allow me to walk out of the house for a playdate without looking like I stepped out of the '90's:
    My personalized style profile helps me create new looks, gives me assurance that some of my current looks are still in style, and introduces me to new products that I otherwise might not have heard of.
   If it's inspiration I'm looking for, there's current articles, tips, and trends. I recommend checking out "How to Avoid Mom Hair" by Helen Jane Hearn.  This is an occupational hazard that affects a majority of women in the U.S., but thanks to Helen's tips, it doesn't have to affect you.
    Style United definitely as what it takes to keep the modern mom modern.  And it's not just for moms-it's for women of all ages!!!  After filling out my 360 Profile, they recommend products for me based on my interests and needs-and the best part is, this busy mom of three can order them straight from the StyleUnited site!!!! This is super-exciting for me, because our small-town Walmart doesn't carry a large variety of products, and we don't have any stores like CVS or Walgreens.
    So come, join me, and be a part of my Inner Circle ( where you can comment on my style and offer me advice and tips!!!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

BlondieChell and The Curse of The Black Thumb Part 2

        To those of you who are rooting for our poor, misfortuned tomato plant: THERE IS HOPE!!!! Soon after I posted about my sad little friend, a neighbor came by, asking if I wanted to share a plot in the Poncha Springs Community Garden-I said, "sure!" (Note: I know *nothing* about gardening.)  I saw this as an opportunity (a life-changing event!) for our little tomato plant.  He now has hope-a "real" home in a neighborhood with fellow plants! No longer will he wither in misery!!! He shall wither with hope and company!!!
   Okay, since my last post in this saga, ( Mr. Tomato Plant (we will now call him "Steve" {I had Josiah choose a name...and...Over the Hedge is a favorite movie of his...}) has grown a bit taller, but his poor little leaves seem to be withering...they're turning a light shade of brown... I'm not sure if it's due to a lack of sunlight, or my curse.  We try to make sure he gets enough water on a daily basis, and since he really belongs to Josiah, I have him attempt conversation with Steve (oxygen, CO2 exchange & all that good stuff....).  Hopefully we will soon have him nestled in his new place.  I wonder what kind of housewarming gifts you give a tomato plant??
      Steve has grown on me and now I have hopes and dreams for him (you know-to grow bigger and actually produce a tomato or two).  Stay tuned for what becomes of his future.....

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Crazy Things I Do While Running

    Ever thought of what it would be like to run with me?? Well, now you don't have to!!! I thought of it for you!!! And then I came up with this....
    Here is a short list of some of the...
Crazy Things I Do While Running:
1. Pick extremely difficult trails.
2. Stretch my arms out wide and yell "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" when running downhill.
3. Run downhill so hard I pee myself....oops...
4. Sing (with the repeat) "I don't know but I've been told (I don't know but I've been told), The end of the world is might cold (the end of the world is mighty cold)" ...thank you, Ice Age.
5. Practice self-defense moves.
6. Scream.
7. Run while it's snowing.
8. Run on fresh snow (yeah...lets just say that ice can be very sneaky....).
9. Carry my rollerblades (apparently they weigh a ton) in a pack on my back.
10. Plyometrics...that's right-jumping over driveways or any other random thing that I feel like jumping over...

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day!!!! To Me!!!

My Goal: To compete in our town's annual FIBArk Hill Climb.

Sanity Level: Beyond Insane

My Secret Weapon: These completely awesome new shoes!!!

This is my mother's day gift to myself. Now, I rarely buy myself new shoes (fashionista I am not-I shamelessly prefer cheap flip-flops and going barefoot), but when I do, I make sure they are on clearance.

          These funky things are a brand new pair of trail running of the latest designs by Vibram FiveFingers. Yes, they look weird. No, I haven't gone crazy. These shoes have been inspired by one of the latest trends (and philosophies) of running- barefoot running. I read about these innovative shoes in a booked called "Born to Run" by Chris McDougal. While reading this book, two things were very clear- 1. Chris believes in evolution; 2. his theory on barefoot running is accurate. Wait....what?? No, I don't believe in evolution, but every time I read the phrases about "how we evolved", I mentally replaced them (library book=no black markering) with phrases like, "the way God made us", and "how God intended". It all made sense..... (learn more about barefoot running:
       However, these shoes cost a bit more than an ordinary pair from, for the past couple of years, I’ve made do with a simple pair of sneakers that had a very thin sole....that I got on clearance for $1.00.
       I finally caved and asked a local outdoor sports retail shop if they would sponsor me (or at least partially) so that I could get the shoes for the FIBArk Hill Climb ( ). They agreed….I and I am now the proud owner of these awesome shoes!!! Just think of all the crazy trails I can confidently explore!!!  Well, time for a run....

Friday, May 11, 2012

BlondieChell and The Curse of The Black Thumb

    This post is in loving memory of the tomato plant that will most definitely pass away..... Last week my son's preschool took a field trip to a local greenery (or whatever-they sell things that grow).  I do not frequent these places.  It is obvious.  Apparently I have a "black thumb".
     For some reason unbeknownst to me (is that even a word??), all the little children in my son's class came home with a tomato plant.  Not a flower (I'd feel less bad about it dying if it were a flower), but a plant that grows something edible (although I know some flowers are edible too, that's not the point).  Feeling obligated to give this plant a fighting chance, I asked his teacher what I was supposed to do with it.....She told me to just toss it-but I was not about to commit plant homicide so easily...
      Now I'm not completely unfamiliar with tomato plants-it seemed that my grandmother would plant them every summer in her front yard.... However, we do not have a yard...we live in an apartment complex, so transplanting the little guy is out of the question.
      My next stop was the lawn & garden section of our local retail store.  I found a small pot for the plant (in hopes of it growing in the kitchen) and I approached the sales associate with a few questions about my project.  She asked me if the plant would be producing cherry tomatoes or regular sized ones, and I told her that I didn't know.  Then she laughed (very, very professional).  She said, "Well, if it produces regular sized ones, it's not going to stay in that pot for very long." And according to her, that was the end of our conversation.....
    Feeling left to my own devices (not the smartest idea), I transferred the plant into it's new home, and have been watering it daily.  It is not dead yet.  In fact, it even seems to have grown a little bit taller....I'll let you know how long it lasts ;)

Monday, May 7, 2012

Do You Scream When You Run??

      If you've been with me for a while, you know that sometimes I scream when I drive.  Apparently I scream when I run too.  Usually it's when a cyclist comes out of nowhere, either behind me, or in front of me like on my run yesterday....
   One of my most favorite things to do when hubby's watchin' the kids is to explore new trails to run.  This usually means driving to a designated location, getting out of the vehicle, and running a path I've never been on for however long my energy lasts.....
   Yesterday I decided to tackle a portion of the "Little Rainbow Trail".  Its usually known for hiking, horseback riding, and dirt biking.  Well, I arrived at the trail head, looked at the large map, and chose one of the 1.5 mile paths that led to the LRT.  The "more difficult" path looked wide and was called Race Track.  I didn't want to run into any accidents (race my book, anyways...) so I chose the "most difficult" path- Lost.
    I have no idea where my sanity disappeared to during this decision making process.  Lost seemed less intimidating than it's name implied, so I ran.  about .1 mile in, I understood why it was considered "most difficult"- there was a huge, almost vertical incline.  No problem.  The trail I usually run near my house has a higher incline.  After I crested it, there was a slight decline and I passed a couple walking their dogs.  As I waved, the guy yelled "Good job!" and I thought to myself, "Why yes. Yes, I am doing a good job.  That hill was a bit tough".  However, this is where my imagination stopped....I try not to envision trails that I have not yet conquered as being difficult.  This would be counter-productive to my motivation.
    So the crazy blonde in the bright pink track suit continued to run....and encounter more steep inclines....oops.  This trail turned out to be way more intense than I had obviously anticipated.  Now I understood why it was classified as "most difficult".
    Eventually I had to walk.  I was forcing my lungs beyond their limit.  Finally, I reached the part of the path where the Little Rainbow Trail intersected.  I took that for about half a mile or so before decided to turn around.  When I paused, I heard a faint whistle.  I panicked.  I heard it again....Here I am, out in the middle of a tree-lined trail with only my GPS-enabled phone, water-bottle and a granola bar.  Sure, I'm taking self-defense classes, but I've just about used up all of my energy making it this far.  I jumped off the path and tried to camouflage myself in the shrubs (yes. while wearing bright pink.).  Then I saw a red truck slowly drive by on what must have been a road above me.  Since I'm unfamiliar with this trail, I wasn't sure if the truck was on the trail or not.  I gave it a few minutes before I decided to run back.  I didn't pass the truck, but I started to feel pelts of raindrops.  I picked up my pace to make it back to my van before a downpour started.  When I reached the steep declines (previously inclines-I'm headed downhill now), I actually had to walk so I wouldn't slip on the loose dirt.  With adrenaline as my friend, I continued my descent.
   Eventually, I reached my vehicle and closed the door....just in time to avoid a quick down pour (it was almost like God was reminding me that He controlled the weather, "See, Michelle? I have your back,").  And I'm thankful He does....because you never know where this insane chick will run next....

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

A Speech Delay Isn't Always A Bad Thing...

  ::Sigh::  So Josiah (5.5yo) has a speech delay which has masked alot of his abilities and inabilities.  Like his SPD.  And his excellent memory.  Apparently Josiah just needs to hear something once in order to repeat it sometime in the near future.  This also means that it only takes one viewing of a movie or show for him to recall phrases or words that he finds humorous.  This skill, however useful and significant, is not always appropriate....Like on our Wal*Mart trip the other day....
    Taking three young children into a store to acquire and purchase items can only be described as "mildly chaotic".  Amber was hanging onto one side of the cart, singing at the top of her lungs (large stage, large audience, who wouldn't??).  Malachi was sitting in the seat in front of me, ready to jump at a moment's notice, and Josiah was hanging off the opposite side of the cart (usually he prefers to lay on the bottom, and "race" a toy car).  I'm not sure what inspired him (competition with Amber, perhaps?), but he started singing the famous "Peanut.... peanut butter...and jelly! song." After the first line, he repeated it: "Peanut...peanut butter....and butt-crack!"
      With no where to hide, and children to tote, I pushed the cart a little faster and pretended I didn't hear it.  I also considered terminating his speech therapy....