Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Smack Me Now...

   Have you ever just hauled off and smacked someone?? Or wished you could??  I believe that public, random smacking is an effective human control tactic-too bad it's not legal.  I'm sure alot of the world's problems (and wars even) could have been averted by simply smacking someone ala the Gibbs character from NCIS.
    I know my dad would be in favor of this.  growing up, he used to say, "Well, smack 'em, Smee" (I'm not sure who Smee was....) and today he's still known for verbally expressing when someone is in need of a good smack.
     Before the NCIS show aired, I was in highschool.  I had bought into the whole "smack them and they will learn" philosophy.  However, I was still figuring out the best smacking strategy.  My favorite targets were boys.  C'mon, highschool boys?  They are all in dire need of a good smack.  Now, I knew that the face smack should be reserved for moments of embarrassment or to invoke shame.  I tended to opt for a semi-awkward shoulder smack.  My most memorable one was at my 15th birthday party- my boyfriend had lied to me, in an effort to surprise me.  Unbeknownst to him, I had found out.  I had a few days to devise a plan, so I did.  The moment I saw him, I would look very surprises as I rushed up to him...then I would nail him with a well-deserved smack!  I had intended for it to be a private moment, but, instead, he held his entrance until the party was underway and we had a crowd....I'm sure many of them still remember that moment... I don't care what your reasoning is, I do not appreciate being lied to.
     After watching NCIS, I believe that Gibb's method of smacking (one quick smack to the back of the head) is probably the safest and most humane form of smacking.  The most current deserving recipient of a smack from me??  My college English professor (I just started back to school this summer!).  After alluding to "programs" of a dvd(s) in the course syllabus, I waited until after he posted class announcements to call him and ask for the title of the dvd(s).  I was sorely disappointed (not to mention agitated) when he admitted that he did not know the title.  What?!?? How can you assign work, and not know what work you are assigning???  Then he proceeded to tell me that I could just go to my local CMC campus (a half hour drive-talk about inconvenient) and they should have the dvds behind the counter (so....I just go in and ask the receptionist for whatever dvds are lurking under her desk??).  My immediate reaction was to (say it with me now) SMACK HIM!!!!  Unfortunately for me (and him), this class is online, so my chances of a face-to face (or hand-to-head) meeting are slim.  Beyond slim if you count the fact that his cell phone area code showed up as NY.  Oh, well.  It is illegal.....for now...


  1. You have learned well, my daughter!

  2. Hahaha that is funny! And I do smack! my brothers upside the back of the head and hubby on the forehead. Oh btw it's all in good fun

  3. Smack smack lol I love it