Monday, April 28, 2014

Amber's Got A Dream!

         That's right folks, Amber's got a dream! As if she pulled the plot line from the movie Tangles (which, she kind of did-it's her fav) our little girl has a dream to one day "have my hair as long as Rapunzel's". Well, truth be told, that's probably never gonna happen since we don't really see how to keep it sanitary once it drifts down past her bottom.....So we sort of made a deal with her that we'll let it grow to almost her bottom. Sounds like a fair deal, right??
        The only problem is, Amber's hair seems to have a suicide wish of it's own. I kid you not. You know how sometimes things just decide for themselves that they are no longer destined to be around?? (like that washing machine you had for four years that just gave up the ghost? Or the brand new hair ties that sprung apart the first time you wrapped them?) I've decided that Amber's hair has this same M.O.
        The most dramatic incident occurred about a year and a half ago at her fourth birthday party. In what seemed like the most random freak moment of the month, her hair caught fire while she blew out her birthday candles. Maybe that was our sign-just letting go of her long-haired goals. Silly us, this girl has a DREAM!!!
         And just like the (slightly sarcastic, but ever hopeful) cheerleader parents we are, we still let her grow out her golden blonde locks, with the occasional botch job haircut from me. However, recently it seems like her hair has gotten a bit out of hand at home. She's caught food in it (and then ate it!!!), and gotten got  received got gum caught in it-twice. One time Hubs had to cut it out. The other time, I was watching the kiddos at a park and several of them were on a tire swing, with the oldest pushing. Well he yelled, "Miss Michelle! Amber's got gum in her hair!" and I started making my way over to see how bad the damage was. As I neared, the same kid said, "Never mind! She ate it!". Gross, right?? It gets worse-the kid said the gum was blue, and we don't have any blue colored gum in the house...which means...IT WAS SOME OTHER KID'S GUM IN HER HAIR AND MOUTH!!! And to top it off, *somehow* one of the other kids got toothpaste in it (yes, someone else got toothpaste in Amber's hair).
         So...for now...to keep the dream alive, we have some guidelines. Well, really only one. For now (or until somehow her hair decides to be on the same team) she's required to keep it bound by some form of elastic/hair tie during the day...it just makes the world a little safer...for us all...
          And here she is...so you can see how long we've managed to keep it:


Have a great week!!!

Monday, April 21, 2014

Stowaway Spoons and Silverware Mishaps


    See these spoons?? Nice, huh? (Well, this isn't the entire collection-most were waiting to be washed...)


    I'm sure you're looking at this photo going, "Oh, wow! Nice spoons!" Or wondering how many we keep in the drawer for a table of 11 (Let me tell ya-it's close to 11, because any more than that and the drawer looks like the kitchen from Beauty & the Beast puked all over it)....I see this photo and wonder, "Hey...'One of these things is not like the other'..." Because...it's not. I don't think you can tell from the photo, but besides the shape/design, the silver of the spoon on the right is vastly different. Duller, maybe? Anyways, I noticed this and brought it to the attention of the other addults in the household.
     Conclusion? It must've slipped into someone's lunch bag at work. I know it wasn't me, because I returned the spoon I accidentally stole from work a few weeks ago (story is, i had been bringing yogurt & a spoon in a bag...and sometimes I would leave them in the fridge past their expiration date. Whoops! So one day, I saw my yogurt & spoon had been sitting there for quite a while, so I tossed the yogurt & took the spoon home....only to discover that IT WASN'T OUR SPOON! Oops! Haven't taken silverware to work since!). After we decided which adult was the culprit, I saw this in the silverware drawer the next day:


    That's right! Another spoon that doesn't belong! And it's even benter! (Is that a word?? "More bent"??) So now we have two stowaways in our silverware drawer....Hopefully they'll return to their place of employment (or home) this week. Ever have this happen to you? Have YOU ever been the culprit for missing silveware?? Share your story in the comments!
     (On the plus side, it kind balances out the "Situation of the Missing Forks" {we had 11...and now we're down to 6...if the kids aren't eating them, maybe they're throwing them away??}). 

Monday, April 14, 2014

Five-Year-Olds, Duct Tape & Running

   Why I'm duct-taping Amber the next time we go for a run (and no one will blame me. Not after you read this!):
       My daughter has two volumes- 1. a quiet, unaudible whisper  and 2. super-duper-embarrassing-loud. When we run, she chooses to use volume #2. How convenient. (Finding a happy medium seems to be a pipe dream for now...)
       On a recent run on the Coastal Trail, she graciously waited until a dear man had passed us, then shouted, "Mommy! He looks like that guy from the movie!" (I am so sure he was smiling at this wonderful compliment-who wouldn't??) Then the conversation started to go downhill as (ironically) we went downhill.
   "Uh-huh" I replied, knowing that the positive quality of this conversation couldn't last forever, and hoping that her train of thought stopped there. {Good, she thinks he looks like a movie star! One I can't put a face to right now, but that has to be good, right??}
   "You know, Mommy!" she (unfortunately) continued. "He looks like that guy from the movie...Shrek!" And there it was. The inevitable compliment-turned-insult from my 5yo. Hooray.
    I really have no idea which character that poor man could have resembled, and I'm sure he was racking his brain too-trying to remember all four of the movies....
     Later, I (really-I don't know why I put myself through this!) had the state of mind to finally ask her which "Shrek" character she thought the man reminded her of. "The guy with the wishes" she said.
    "Oh, you mean Merlin??" (Phew! That made sense-the man was older and had a white beard). "No, not 'Merlin'!" she said. "But you said the guy with the wishes-the magic wand, right??" "No! Wit-chEZ" she sounded out. Oh. "Um...so you mean Rumpelstiltskin??" "Yeah! That's him!" So glad we didn't have this conversation on the trail. So glad. Another #Amberism down for the books.

Monday, April 7, 2014

How You know You're Living With a 2yo:

  Our "baby"? He's turning three. He's the youngest in the house and in honor of his birthday, I created this short list....

How You know You're Living With a 2 year-old: (you know, just in case one snuck in through the doggy door while you were gone)

      1.There's toothpaste. Everywhere

      2. The cookies are half eaten (as in, there's a dozen cookies, but each cookie is only half a cookie)

      3. You find Legos in your bed (ow. ALL THE TIME)

      4. That smell you just woke up to? It's not gas...someone had an "accident" in their pants (that's a fun mess to clean up at 6am)

      5. Little socks. Everywhere. And none of them match.

      6. After using plastic forks for a while, you switch back to "real" ones...and then the real ones start disappearing...(we had 11+. Now we have less than 7)

      7. Everything is drawn on.

      8. You're not sure if that spot is a puddle of pee, or a random, unexplained leak.... (not knowing = not fun)

      9. Your ankle may have a few bite marks in it...

     10. Footsteps. Running. In the hall. ALL DAY LONG.

             And then sometimes this happens....