Monday, March 17, 2014

Fred the Spider

         This past week, our ginormous make-shift family has welcomed two pets. Fred and Charlotte. Both of the arachnid species. Let me explain....
          It started out as a "threat" to one of the children, "Do you want the spider (seen on the wall) to get you?? It's gonna get you if you don't --------". We were actually able to use this ploy for a few days because the spider seemed to sense the importance of the situation and stayed in one area, waiting for a chance to be used. Wanted... Needed... (Parents of the Year. Right here.)
          Someone (there's 11 of us...how am I to know who it was??) gave him a name. Fred. Which means that now he's more than a tool for parental guidance, he's almost like family (you know-the kind that creep into your room in the middle of the night and bite you to death).

(See Fred?? He's pretty harmless...as long as he stays on the ceiling)

           One day, I found Fred in the kitchen...and he was creeping down the wall next to the cupboard that holds bread. I started freaking out and begged for permission to kill him...or ideas for migrating him back to his residence in the living room. Poor Fred must've felt bad about the craziness he caused, because when I went to catch him, he respectfully crawled back up the cupboard and towards the ceiling! So, like any good pet-owner, I thanked him for his cooperation and may or may not have applauded him.
            Later that same day, one (repeat: there's 11 of us) discovered that Fred was able to project his image. Or had a twin. Or...a mistress perhaps?? Yes. Now we had Fred 1 and Fred 2. Well, that seemed silly, so the "other one" was named Charlotte. Great. And after I had just gave Fred the speech about not bringing any women into the house. Last thing we need is bajillions of baby spiders running around. Personally, I hope they're both males. We shall see....
           But until they die or move out, I make sure I can see them in their predetermined living quarters. Because any closer, and I freak out...and apparently I'm not allowed the to squish, maim or kill the family pets....
          

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