Monday, November 17, 2014

How To Faux Clap In Public

          If you are like me (and I do imagine that I'm not alone!) you may have a hard time keeping time in public...you know, like clapping along to the beat with everyone at that concert or even during church. But you also know that if you don't clap, people will *know* that you are incapable of keeping up....so you find yourself clapping, starting off with the crowd...and 30 seconds later you're completely off the beat. You're so off that your hands are meeting
at the exact opposite time that everyone else's are....and by now you've thrown so much enthusiasm into it that everyone within a 10ft radius knows how wrong you are.
          And if you've just commiserated with everything I just mentioned, then this post is for you...

How To Faux Clap In Public:

             1. Watch the arms of the people in front of you (note: do *not* watch someone facing you. This is a counter-measure that will compromise your mission) and try to match the motion of your arms with their's...When you make it about the arms instead of the hands, you will look legit.

            2. When trying to "clap", do NOT actually make the clapping sound!!!! You may allow your hands to meet, but do NOT make the sound! When you make the sound, the jig is up! That is how everyone around you will know that you cannot clap!!! Now, forcing your hands to meet without actually making a sound is a skill that takes time to hone, so it is best to practice this at home before attending your event.

           3. When all else fails, just put your hands down by your sides and tap your thighs....(it's completely okay to rock or sway while doing this). This is the "I-just-don't-feel-like-clapping-but-I-could-clap-if-I-wanted-to" look.


*Disclaimer: If none of these tips work for you, then I suggest just keeping your hands in your pockets. At all times. 

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