Monday, December 9, 2013

Changing My Relational Views With Women

       "Let me tell ya 'bout my beh-est friend..."
        Seriously. She's different. She's inadvertently helped me redefine my relationships with women.  She's a non-fou-fou type woman who...tries to be a tad girly for her daughters. She believes in honesty and (due to her complex background) has a wealth of knowledge about a ton of stuff due to her diverse educational background. My relationship with her has changed how I view my friendships with other women and changed my relational behaviors. Like:
       1. No frivilous compliments. At all. She never tells me how fantastically blonde my hair is, or if she likes a certain cut. She never compliments me on my shirts (although we both shop Old Navy and therefore have a lot of the same shirts) or outfits. I never hear about how much weight I must've lost (or gained). And it hasn't hurt me. If she has something to say, she says it, and means it.
       2. No whining support. I'm not sure how to term it, but basically, I've learned to stop complaining about problems/situations if I'm not looking for a solution (and why wouldn't you want a solution if something is bothering you??). I've noticed that (after 7 years) I go to her seeking solutions to problems (and if I wanna complain, I have God & the Hubs & FB for that) and she usually provides an answer (this is where the wealth of knowledge comes in)
       3. Self-confidence comes from within. I shouldn't care what other people think of me or my actions (only what God thinks). No frivilous compliments, remember?
      4. Being real is better than being fake. Sometimes we place to much emphasis on what people say or do instead of having compassion and letting the situation go because we don't know the whole story. Sure, truth may be a bit harsh sometimes, but I'd rather have the truth hurt a little now than find out I was lied to later.
          What that looks like now: I find myself complimenting a person if I truly like/enjoy something. I keep my complaining to a minimum. Who I am depends on me, not what others think of me. Proverbs 27:17 says that friends need to sharpen each other like how we use (or used to) iron to sharpen iron. To me that means that even if it hurts to hear, if it's told in love & with the purpose of helping someone better themself, it's necessary.
          Have a great week!

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