Monday, July 13, 2015

What Happens When BlondieChell Attends Group Exercise Classes

     Ever have a friend who is a great friend and you've been through just about everything together, but then she goes and just stops friending in the middle of an intensish yoga/pilates/athletic training class called "Centergy"??
   Well, I do. and for the sake of this post, she shall remain nameless. But we shall call her "T".  And in order to understand her misguided actions, you must first acknowledge the kind of pressure she was under...that "I-didn't-come-here-with-her-and-I-have-no-idea-who-this-crazy-woman-is" pressure.
         The situation started when my good friend "T" and I decided that we would take our not-so-flexible bodies to a Centergy course offered at the local gym. Because sometimes we're over-confident and we enjoy trying new things.
        Since we arrived a little later than the designated class time, we were forced to unroll our yoga mats in the front row, while all the slender-bodied women who obviously take this class religiously were positioned towards the back of the room. The instructor was a gracious, elderly woman who seemed new to the routine that she was introducing to the class. (And if hadn't have walked away with at least one humorous story, it would have been a waste of an hour.)
      About three-quarters of the way through the class, we were led into this pose called "the frog". The instructor herself seemed confused on the exact position, but basically,  you fold over your mat (so there's a bump towards the front of you) then melt down into a wide-legged child's pose, mangling the soles of your feet until they touch. then you take one arm and shoulder roll towards the opposite side, sliding that arm under the other. Until you are stuck. And you remain in that position until your lose all feeling in your knees.
      Once I had completely committed the rest of my life to this pose, the instructor then led us to unmangle ourselves from the "frog". And I tried. And I tried. And tried. Apparently I was stuck- face-first on the floor with one arm crossed under the other and my knees bent at the most unnatural angle. I was also the only student still lying on the floor. And unable to make eye contact with "T".
      I tried really hard to convince my anatomy to move-to at least allow me to wiggle to one side so I could resume the class. But, no. Nothing was working. So I had two choices: remain in this position for the rest of the class time or disrupt the class by asking for help.  
      In a quiet voice, I asked the instructor if she could repeat the was to get out of the pose. She did. And again, nothing moved. As I lay there, tears flowed from my eyes. (Why?? I don't know. I wasn't crying.) I was embarrassed and laughing at my situation, but I don't think anyone else was on the same page with me. To them, not only was I stuck, but I was silently sobbing about it. Great.

                            (it may have resembled something like this....)    

       Since I was evidently stuck (I may also have announced this) some of the other class members along with the instructor rushed over unpositioned my legs for me. (Notice I didn't mention "T"?? She was frozen with the rest of the class-gawking at the sight I had become)
       After I was returned ot my full-upright postion, "T" leaned over and asked if I was okay. Somehow she had discovered how to friend again. We finished the class without anymore delays or surprises, and in the end, we felt stronger. And more secure in our relationship.

1 comment:

  1. Stephanie vanVeenMarch 4, 2016 at 6:25 PM

    Just saw this and Oh My Goodness!!! Yes I was laughing hysterically at this as I'm imagining you twisted like a pretzel. I needed this after the week I had!!! Love you sis!