Monday, December 15, 2014

Proof That My Children Are A Few Crayons Short Of A Rainbow

Proof that my children are a few crayons short of a rainbow.....
    You know how you wander around the house aimlessly while talking on the phone? That was me the other day-wandering around the house while talking to my dad on the phone and then I settled on the office chair in the living room. Five seconds later, I was kissing the floor my foot felt like it was broken. I can’t tell you what happened, because I don’t know. One moment I was upright, the next, I felt myself and said chair falling….”Man down! Man down!” I yelled as my body slid to the floor in a heap.
   As I laid there (still yelling “Man down! Man down!”) the 8yo came over, took my phone and my slippers and resumed my conversation with my father. “Call 911!” I heard him say….then “Oh, DON’T call 911!!” even though all I was able to utter was “Man down!”  Boy am I glad that kid has his medical degree!
     While I lay there, face-planted into our faux wood floor, I mentally assessed the damage. Wind knocked out? Check. Foot screaming in pain? Check. The 6yo comes over and asked what hurt (finally! Someone cares!). I let her know that my foot hurt “real bad” so of course (another M.D. in the family) she lifted each foot and squeezed it. “This one? This one?”  Then she dropped my feet and walked away.
   After a few minutes, I found the strength to roll over on my back and I reached for my phone. The 8yo got the hint and delivered it along with my slippers. Next the 6&8yos lifted my hand and gasped. Apparently I had gotten some red marker on my hand earlier. They both insisted that this was blood and needed a bandaid. Finally! Some medical assistance!
    Then the 8yo felt my forehead for a fever, prayed for me, then he stepped on the injured foot.  Good times. When I finally got up, he exclaimed “Good! All your bones are together again! You’re fixed!” 

    And.... this is the crew who is supposed to care for me when I am older….Such good hands….. 

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