Monday, September 9, 2013

The Etiquette and Execution of Snot Rockets Part I

   I know you're dying to know. And yes, a "snot rocket" is a natural way to relieve bothersome nasal clog without harming the environment with biodegradable debri such as unattended Kleenex or handkerchiefs.
    You simply press against one side of your nose while exhaling harshly out of the other side. Snot Rocket. Simple. Just like that. (Did you just try it??? Ewww. You're gross!!!)
     See, I had read about the Snot Rocket technique months ago. Maybe a year ago. But I had been too timid to try it. I typically carry a bunch of tissues with me and after they're used, I place them in a certain pocket. Yes, it can be a lot of bulk and it takes time to fold them "just so" so thaht they're not a wadded bulk, and the fact that I have to remember to bring them. It took us moving to Alaska for me to grow bold enough (okay, so really, I left the house without tissues and my snotter was severely clogged and I'm not a fan of the whole "use your sleeve" method, so I felt like I had no choice) to try it. Just once. I understood that my first attempt would be a complete failure, but I had to try. And it was magnificent. Beautiful, even. I executed it almost perfectly.
     And then I was free. Free of wearing pockets or a running belt just to hold my wad of tissues. Free of worry that those discarded germy tissues on the ground were mine. Free of remembering *just one more thing* to take with me on a run.
      I will say that while I am comfortable with my technique, I'm not *that* comfortable to do it in front of others. I typically wait until I'm on a "secludedish" part of a trail to execute it, and I double-check behind me (never know when a cyclist or moose is creepin' up on ya!) before execution.
     Here is a short list of places I don't think people should be snot-rocketting:
     1. In the car.
     2. On the couch.
     3. In front of your lover.
     4. In front of your kids. (Truth be told, I may be breaking this no-no soon as I'm starting to run w/the kiddos!)
     5. In a store. Definitely not in a store.
   So get out there. Try it. Don't snot on yourself (Or if you do, don't tell anyone!!!). And tell me your results!!!

2 comments:

  1. O my gosh! Do I really know you? That is something your dad would do! Just don't do it around me, ok? Have fun and happy landings!

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  2. Hilarious. You gotta do what you gotta do. You don't even want to hear stories I've heard from a guy I used to work with, about his "potty breaks" while running. MUCH WORSE than this! Yet another reason for me to never run :)

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