Wednesday, June 29, 2011

What Not To Do (Volume 1)

   Yesterday I discovered that my husband does not like it when he comes home and I greet him by running outside with a large serrated-edge knife.  Apparently this is a "no-no".
   I had called my husband yesterday afternoon to find out when he would be coming home, and the message conveyed was that he would be coming "straight home".  I don't know about you, but to me that meant he would be coming from point A (his current location) to point B (our apartment) with no stops.  After a reasonably allotted amount of time had lapsed, I called his cell phone. Twice. No answer. Twice. So I called our friend's house.  My friend answered the phone, "Yes, your husband is here."  This answer ignited a tiny flame of anger, and I asked her to grab the largest knife she could find, then go outside and tell my husband that 1. he was a jerk for lying to me, and 2. she was going to slash his tires for this indiscretion.  Sadly my friend was not able to accomplish her mission before my husband headed home, so I took it upon myself to complete it.
    My first snafu was decided which knife to pull-what would cut through tires more easily? A straight-edged knife, or a serrated-edge one?  I made my decision and exited the house, wielding my weapon of intended destruction.  The whole "slash your tires" thing was more about drama than actual intention.  I was not going to slash his tires for two reasons: 1. our friends needed to borrow the truck the next day for a long trip, 2. I didn't want to spend the money for new tires just because I had a fit of rage.
   However, hubby did not receive this message as well as I had hoped.  Instead of repenting for his actions, he defended himself and became angry at me for running out of the house towards him wielding a large knife.  I'm not sure why he got so upset...After all, I wasn't intending to stab him, just his tires....

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