Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Dirty Mouth? Clean It Up....Or Not...

   A few days ago, I had one kid cursing like a sailor, and another sanitizing his own mouth...Ok, so that's a bit of an exaggeration on the cursing....
     That morning, I heard what I thought to be a curse word come from Amber's mouth.  Since her language isn't fully developed yet, sometimes what I hear isn't always what she meant to say. So, I asked her what she said.  She repeated it.  Without batting an eye (she may have blinked, though).   Just to verify, I asked her again, giving her a choice of two phrases.  She chose the same word.  I let her know this is not a word we say (and as parents, we don't).
    Onto the "other child"-one would think that an appropriate response to hearing a child say forbidden words would be to cleanse their mouth.  I didn't choose to use this method with Amber this time, because this was her first offense with this word, so I'm sure she didn't know it was a "no-no".  However, I think Malachi must have felt guilty for her, because later that day I observed him happily munching on baby wipes.  He was attempting to shove as many into his mouth as he could.  This too is an unacceptable behavior.  (Have you ever tasted one?? They have a sanitary after-taste that belongs in antibacterial gel bottles.)  And it was still unacceptable when bubbles started flowing out of his mouth. 
    Well, it looks like I have one kid with a potty mouth and another with a mouth that could clean the potty... Orbit gum commercials have nothing on me....(Dirty mouth? Clean it up...)

Geography Lesson Equals Fail

        ::Big sigh::  I was having one of those "I'm going to be a 'good mom' and teach my children ------" moments.  For weeks Josiah has been pretty insistent that Nane' &P-pop live in the airport (makes sense-we've picked my mom up from the airport, and when we've flown, my dad usually meets us at the airport).  Amber had no idea where she lives.  Today, she said she lives in an airplane.
     "What a wonderful teaching moment!" I thought as I pulled out a puzzle of the U.S.A.  Like any other naive, hopeful parent, I started putting the puzzle together, trying to name each state.  The children even took part, asking where certain pieces go (except Malachi-he was pre-occupied shoving wipes into his mouth....I'm not sure what he finds appetizing about them, but they're his new favorite menu item).
       I showed them which state we live in (Colorado) and I showed them where their grandparents live (on this map Delaware closely resembled a rectangle).  I gave them the name of the states and told them where the ocean was. I was having fun, trying to instill this premier knowledge of geography into their ever-learning minds.....until it was their turn to speak....
       Amber promptly announced that she wanted to visit Maine (the piece had a photo of a lighthouse on it) and Josiah said (in his limited English) that he wanted to take Daddy's blue truck and drive to Delaware.  He also told Amber that she couldn't go to Maine because she couldn't drive.  Little does he know, neither can he.  Malachi was quiet except for the occasional "mmph" that came from his wipe-filled mouth. (Insert head-shake here)
     While I'm not sure if Amber grasped anything, I'm pretty confident that Josiah understands that his grandparents do not live in the airport.  I can't say the same about him driving, though.  It looks like we're going to have keep the truck keys locked up....

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

How You Know You're A Mom Of 3 (Or More)

How You Know You're A Mom of 3 (or more):
 1. One of your kids has smashed-up Pop-tart in his hair and instead of removing it, you see it as an opportunity for "snack time".
2. You're actually considering letting your youngest wear his older sister's pink snowpants next winter.
3. You're still using a "Baby's First Christmas" bib from your oldest child....in March....
4. You're version of "peace and quiet" involves multiple rolls of duct tape.
5. You've memorized (against your will) all the lyrics (and tunes) to the popular kid's shows...and you've started writing alternate scripts ("No....Dora should go through the jungle, not over the bridge!  She could fall off and into the water.....Not safe....")
6. Nosebleed? Eh...you'll be ok... Slice your finger? Eh....you'll be ok.... Head falling off?? Maybe I'll give you a band aid....
7. Why pay to go to the circus when you haul one around every day?
8. You've discovered a million and one uses for baby wipes....so many, that you are starting to sound like Adrienne Monk ("Wipe....wipe....wipe!")
9. You don't think twice about drinking out of a sippy cup.
10. You think of hilarious lists instead of actually cleaning your house.....

Monday, March 12, 2012

Favoritism? Or Victim of Opportunity?

      So, I've noticed that most posts seem to be about my daughter.   I do not appologize for this.  I've discovered that it is not because I favor her, but because she tends to do the most accidentally humourous things.  Like the way she keeps hitting her face just below her eye on her left side. 
   After conferring with my friend (she's working on her ECE degree, plus had multiple children of her own), we've noticed that most kids (babies, actually) have a certain spot on their head that they usually hit when they fall.  Sometimes, this causes their skull to form a callous.  (I have no idea how this works.  We are going off of information from her child's doctor....)
     Amber seems to be forming this callous just below her left eye.  Her first injury on this location happened right before her third birthday.  Right before it fully healed, she hit it again.  And she keeps hitting it.  A week ago she ran into some bleachers after a friend's wrestling meet.  Last night, it was falling off someone's bed.
     I just hope she doesn't make herself blind, because the spot is so close to her eye.  Last night I gave her an impromtu vision test just to make sure she could see ok out of that eye.  So far, so good.
    So, as you read my posts and think about my seemingly partiality, just remeber this one thing about Amber: she is blonder than most.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Dressing Rooms + 3 Year Olds = Bad Idea

::Sigh::  I'm firing my daughter as my personal fashion advisor.  Since she's basically around me 24/7, she seems to think she is my shadow.  My super-skinny, short shadow. I do love how she follows me around and "helps" clean, though.
    Today my miniature (ok, so she has her daddy's green eyes) was inside a dressing room with me.  I don't go into dressing rooms often because I can usually tell how an article of clothing will fit me by how it looks on a hanger.  As we entered the room, I told Amber what I was doing.  She decided that she too wanted to try this item on.  A usual "mother-daughter" argument ensued: "I wanna try it on, too!", "No, I'M trying it on!", "I take my clothes off too!", "No, it's for Mommy!", "It's too small for you!"  That last phrase is something women don't usually like hearing.  Especially from younger, prettier females.  Her head almost came off that day.  Maybe one day she'll remember this situation.  Or not.  Or, maybe she'll remember how she refused to put her shirt back on (yes, I was wearing mine), and walked out into the cold with her coat opened (yeah, like I was gonna zip it after that comment).
    Does anyone know how much three-year-olds sell for these days??

Running My Mountain

     Last week I ran what I had perceived to be my ultimate running goal: running up Spiral Drive to the top of "S" Mountain and down.....
     Let me preface this by informing you that I have increased my average "long run" mileage to four miles.  Four miles of running on flat ground without stopping.  Pushing my lungs to their limits.  I started running seriously about two weeks after Malachi was born.  I had to start from scratch since the pneumonia took a toll on my lungs last winter (not to mention the sports-induced asthma that is now known as "EIB"- exercise-induced bronchitis).
      As much as I love running, starting over for me meant running as far as I could (less than one-tenth of a mile), then walking until I could breathe again, picking up running again until I couldn't breathe, then walking and so on & so forth.  A repeated cycle that allowed me to slowly increase my mileage (ok, so I actually jumped from three to four miles on accident-a trail that I thought was three turned out to be closer to four) and now I can run four miles without stopping. 
        If you've ever driven through Salida, CO, chances are you've seen the huge white letter "S" on what I believe is really called "Tenderfoot Mountain".  At night the "S" and a heart light up alternatively.  At the Christmas parade, a huge Christmas tree design is laid out on the mountain and lit alongside a display of fireworks.  This is also where the fourth of July fireworks are set off.  And where the legendary "Hill Climb" is held each FIBArk (another goal I have is to participate in this).  As a family, we've even parked half way up and walked the rest.  So you can see, "S" Mountain is kind of a big deal in town, and naturally, running it would be a goal.
        The afternoon I started my mission was a bit windy, and I'm not quite sure where my head was when I decided to run up the mountain.  Afterall, the higher you climb, the windier it would be.  I started my journey before our family's parking location.  Before the water-tower.  I parked right after the turn onto Spiral Drive, then got out of my van and started running.  After a few seconds, I realized I felt like I was running on air, which I know some people enjoy, but not me.  I looked down and sure enough, I had forgotten to change into my running shoes (I believe in minimalist-shoe running).  I ran back to the van and changed.  There.  That felt better.
             I tried to start at a mild pace, but my speed was faster than I intended, so I just went with it, knowing that soon I would be struggling to run up the winding hill. I use a running app on my phone to keep track of my times and mileage, and was surprised to find that the distance from where I parked my van to the top of the hill was only 1.93 miles. I thought it should have at least been three. But, I made it. The wind was so intense that I had to remove my hat about three-tenths of a mile before I reached the top so that it wouldn't blow away. I rested at the top for four minutes, then started my descent. And the wind grew worse. Oops. But, I had to make it back to my vehicle, so I ran. Running down a mountain is alot easier than running up, but running down after running up is wearisome since you've already ran up. That being said, I eventually made it back to the van.
            Since I've hit this milestone, my thoughts have turned to "ok...so....where do I set my goals now?", "how much should I be running?", "how long should my long runs be for me to be considered a serious runner?". After doing some online research, I've decided that if I want to eventually run a marathon (complete one. I know my chances for winning are slim.) my "long runs" should be about twenty miles. That's a long way away from the four I'm doing now, but I'm sure I'll get there ;)                                    

                                                  view of Salida from top of "S" Mountain

                                                        side view from the top

                                          me at the top ;) there's a little white house with windows...