Friday, February 24, 2012

Too Blonde? Or Too Blind??

     Ok, so this story has us laughing so hard that we can't even see straight.  I know it's not fair (or nice) that we are laughing at our child's expense, so I'm going to try to describe the scenario to you as best as I can so that you too may laugh at our child's expense.
    We were leaving a mall as a family.  We don't have one in our town, so we have to travel a few hours to find one.  One of the magical things about malls that the children enjoy is the handicap buttons that summon the doors to open.  Usually this is Josiah's domain.  This time, however, he acquiesced so that he could push the stroller.  Apparently, where there's a void (rational or not), someone will fill it.  This person was Amber.  She filled the button-pushing void (and the world righted itself).
    As we went into to the mall, we realized that the inside door was not cooperating with the electrical system and had to be manually pushed open (oh, the arm strength we had to muster....)
   When we were exiting the mall, Amber forgot this small detail.  She pushed the inside button.  The door to the outside world opened, but the door to the door-that-leads-to-the-outside-world did not.  Regardless, she became very excited and ran (yes, ran)smack into the clear window NEXT to the closed door (we're still trying to figure out how she missed the actual door {even though it was closed}).  Some poor man following us promptly turned around and walked away after Amber bounced off the plexiglass.  I'm pretty sure he was laughing the entire time, too.
     Too add insult to injury (or just more injury), we were laughing so hard on our way to the van that JR could barely see when he lifted the tailgate.  Apparently, Amber couldn't see either.....The hatch caught her in the head as it rose up.  Poor kid....We laughed even more....

Friday, February 17, 2012

That Is Some Good Chocolate....

   Valentine's day has come and gone, but chocolate remains.  I don't have any stats or real information reguarding the famous delicacy.  Yes. Chocolate is a delicacy.  I'm not talking about a "regular" bar of chocolate, but the "good stuff"....You know, the chocolate that is sooooo good that it is actually a bad idea for you to eat too much of it, so they individually wrap it.  That stuff.
     For Valentine's Day, my hubby gave me a package of such chocolates. Twenty-four pieces in the bag.  In less than twenty-four hours, they were gone. 1,140 calories.  Gone.  The next day, I found my Ghiradelli sample from SheSpeaks in the mail.  Nine more of these wonderful pieces.  However, I managed to find my sanity and saved three for my hubby so I ended up only devouring around 380 calories.
     The new chocolate squares are "Milk & Truffle"~ basically a truffled-chocolate filling inside a barrier of milk chocolate.  How much better can it get?? Chocolate inside chocolate???
      What I really liked about this new line of Ghirardelli squares is the thickness.  Drawing from my experience the day before (24 squares is plenty of chocolate experience), I noticed that the new M&T chocolates are actually thicker than the regular filled delicacies Ghirardelli offers.  Thicker=more chocolate per bite.  Per bag.  Per experience.  I was totally sold on these.
     While the chocolate filling is not gooey like some of the Lindt ball fillings, it was rich and less messy.  Ok, so there was no mess.  I ate the mess.  You know how when you bite into something, you leave crumbs? I ate the crumbs.  I attempted to savor each bite of the six squares, but it was hard.  Needless to say, these were very good and according to the company, they "select only the highest quality cocoa beans".  Whatever the process, it's working for them.  Good job, Ghirardelli!  And....thanks!
Go. Buy. Some.

Monday, February 13, 2012

...More Stuff That Just Happens....

   I am pretty sure that the reason God allows stuff to happen to me is so that i can have something to blog about.  Today our apartment almost burned down....with us in it....
   It started out like any other Monday-Josiah off to school, JR off to work, me home with the rest of the kids...when the doorbell rang.  This is not unusual.  Most people ring the doorbell when they come to visit.  However, our doorbell is "special".... 
    For as long as I can remember, the outside apparatus had appeared to be broken, but it still worked....until one day when one of our friends kept ringing it...then this awful buzzing started that no one believed me about (see post entitled "I Am NOT Crazy...Ok, So Maybe I Am...But This Morning I Was Not... "). 
    After that mishap, the apartment complex maintenance guy came and replaced the inside box that makes the magical "ding" sound when someone pushes the button outside.  No more buzzing.  Until today.  For some unexplained reason, I thought that the noise would go away (new box. hello.).  It didn't.  It actually got worse in a short amount of time.  This did not panic me.  The noise was slightly annoying, but I texted the hubby and let him know he needed to call the maintenance man to come fix it (preferably before nap time).
    JR then called me and told me to go outside and yank the doorbell button out of the wall.  I did.  Well, I didn't yank it out entirely, I just pulled until the cord wouldn't give anymore...then I went back inside.  After a few minutes I noticed a funny smell.  Kind of like new plastic.  Well this couldn't be good.  So, I texted my hubby again all panicked and told him about the funny smell and how I thought the house was burning down. He didn't respond.  The smell didn't go away. 
   Alarmed, I called our friend to come and make sure our place wasn't burning down.  That would not be good.  A few minutes later, JR showed up (house burning down=break time at work) and assessed the situation, saving the day (and our apartment).  When our friend arrived, they decided on which wire to disconnect inside the new doorbell box and then JR dismantled the button outside so we wouldn't have to worry about any more wires frying the inside of the house....

I Run. I Like It.

    Four miles.  That's how far I ran yesterday without stopping.  A year ago, I could barely run one-tenth of a mile without stopping.  I have what is now known as EIB (formerly sports-induced asthma).  EIB is a fancy acronym for "Exercise Induced Bronchitis".  I'm not too sure what the difference in diagnosis is....all I know is that the slightest cardio activity literally takes my breath away and I start wheezing.
   I was diagnosed in highschool and after using inhalers, discovered that they didn't seem to help me at all.  What helped was pushing myself.  Running until I couldn't breathe.  The farther I pushed myself, the farther I could go until I couldn't breathe anymore.  When I started running again after Malachi was born I felt like I was starting all over again since the pneumonia I had last winter really did a number on my lungs.
   I'm not the fastest runner.  I'm not even good at it.  I just do it (and people point and say, "look, there's that crazy blonde that thinks she can run").  Hitting the four-mile mark was actually a fluke.  I knew I could pump out three miles, and so I did this trail in town last week that I thought was only three.  It turned out to be 3.86.  Almost an extra mile, and I ran the entire way.
   I've built up my mileage and stamina by running until I couldn't breathe, the walked until I could, then picked up running until I couldn't, then walking.....ect. Oh...did I mention the altitude factor? We live about 7500 feet above sea level, so I'm sure that fact is not working in my favor.
    Yesterday, I had to beat a storm that was coming.  From where I live, I could see the ominous clouds gliding over the mountains towards us.  And then the sun came out.  I knew then that I had enough time to complete my run because the sun was out in Poncha, and I was driving a few miles east into Salida (ultimately the trail I took led me towards the oncoming storm-not so smart) so I knew that I had time.  And....then I got to the trail.... Clouds I couldn't see from my previous vantage point hovered near it while the sun was seemed so far away, opposite it.  Bummer.  So I ran anyway.  Into the wind.  The crazy blonde with a purple hat, ear warmers, sunglasses (so my contacts don't dry up and fall out), hunter-orange jacket, track pants and my running shoes.   After a few minutes I wondered about this odd duck-like sound that I was hearing before realizing that it was coming from my chest every time I sucked air in.  After a while (and after some flegm came up) it dissappeared.  Stupid EIB. 
     So I ran. Two miles in, and two miles...in again.  After I turned around on my journey, the wind seemed to halt for about half a mile, then it picked up again.  Towards me.  Usually, if you head into the wind, then turn around, it's at your back, not front.  Oh, well.
     Finally (after adding .2 miles to make up the missing .14 from a 4 mile journey) I made it to my imaginary finish line.  And I could breathe.

Friday, February 3, 2012

...It Never Ends....

   As a Mom, I imagine that most parents have experienced the "diaper-comes-off-during-nap-time-after-a-big-poop-and-poop-ends-up-all-over-the-room" situations.  Amber & Josiah have each done this once during their diaper days & I was the lucky cleaner-upper.  Amber's scenario panicked me because I couldn't find the big lump off poo.  All I had was a poop-stained diaper and a baby with the yuck all over her hands and face.  I was missing the big chunk.  Panicked, I placed her in the bathtub (waterless) and ransacked her room for the clump.  after coming to the conclusion that she had digested it, I proceeded to scrub the residue out of the carpet while thinking about who I should call.  911? Poison Control?? My mom??? Do I give her the Heimlich?? 
   Undecided, I went to change the poo-stained crib bedding.   As I lifted the mattress, I found it! One nice, big, solid clump caught between the mattress and the frame.  I heaved a huge sigh of relief and continued my mission.  Next? Scrubbing down the bacteria-infested child.  I'm not sure why children tend to be fascinated with their bodily refuse, but they're not too appreciative when you're washing it off.....Now comes the wait for Malachi's "diaper-off" experience.
   So, even though Amber & Josiah are fully toilet-trained, we're still being exposed to their apparent fascination with bodily functions.  Just the other day when I was grabbing something from Josiah's closet, I had a Nebuchadnezzar moment.  I saw writing on the wall.  Horrified, I yelled for JR to come & do a "sniff-test".  My worst nightmare had come true.  It was poo.  One of my fantastic children had drawn poo-scented hieroglyphics on the wall.  (Surely they must've known that it wouldn't have lasted through the ages....they should've used permanent marker....or paint....)
    Well, the culprit was easy to identify since his latest bad habit consisted of him sticking his hands down the back of his pants to touch his rectal cavity.....When you become a parent, no one ever tells you all the horror stories that you will encounter in the coming years.  You think that once you're done changing diapers, the gross part is over.  Apparently, it's not.

Running Adventures

 On Thanksgiving Day, I went for my own personal "turkey trot" since I had no idea when the local one was.  I was suprised to see a few other people out and about for their personal ones, too.  This one lady was ahead of me on the path and kept glancing back at me.  Then, she picked up her pace.  I wasn't sure if she was running from me, or something behind me, so I just kept running.  Then, she met up with some other lady and they looked at me (in my direction....at me....same thing....) and started walking swiftly away.  I politely ignored them and continued my run.
    This winter I decided to run in snow.  The first time I did it, it had just started snowing and since there wasn't much build-up, it was super easy.  A few weeks later, I ran while the snow was packed.  It took way more effort. A week or two after that, I had the opportunity to run in fresh snow (on top of the packed stuff). Apparently, that is even way harder to run in.  And the worst part is, you don't know what's under the fresh stuff.  It just slips away as your feet hit it.  I should know-I landed on it....then, despite the forming bruise, I got back up and kept running ;)