Wednesday, January 18, 2012

3 Years And Counting...

   I'm really starting to wonder about Amber.  I think she's actually starting to think about what she says (for those of you who know her, you know she never knows what she's talking about)....
    I know it seems like most of my recent stories revolve around shopping in Walmart (lets face it-it's the only mass merchant store in town), but here's another one.... You know how when you're talking to children, you repeat what they say to make sure you understood them correctly? Amber and I were following this pattern when she asked me if I dropped her on her head....so, I repeated "I dropped you on your head?" without realizing how it sounded.  Yes, people were within earshot. No, they didn't call Child Protective Services (they were actually giggling).
     I'm not sure if the above had an affect on what came out of her mouth next, but Amber was pretty serious when she told me that a "bad guy" was going to shoot me. I questioned her about it ("Who is this 'bad guy?'", "Why me??", "Where is he? Do you see him??") but to no avail.  She clammed right up.  I guess I should be thankful that she told me about this potential threat on my life before it actually happened.  She was pretty mysterious about the who and when, but at least she told me the what....It seems though, as if she's always had a death wish for me (refer to previous post about "shooting")...
      So, I guess this is kind of a "if-I-get-shot-you-know-who-has-intel" kind of posting...I can't promise she'll give you the right answer, but she does have answers....

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

On Sense and Nonsense

   I love having kids.  Its like having your own little army of minions.  They basically listen (for the most part-mine are still young) and do whatever you tell them to.... For instance, you can impart whatever desires, fears or knowledge on them that you want to.  If you want your child to be a germaphobe, teach them about how yucky germs are.  If you want them to learn about washing machines, expose them to how awesome you think they really are.
   I enjoy teaching my kids silly things.  You know, things that aren't necessary or "normal".  For instance, if I tell them to walk across the parking lot like penguins in the blinding snow, they will.  I know this because we did this last night.  Malachi's a little too young to join in the silliness (I like the refer to it as the "vanVeen side")....well, maybe not....  The other day Amber, Josiah & I were standing around Malachi's highchair fake laughing with our lips stretched over teeth & he started joining in.  I'm not sure he fully understood what was going on, but he was doing it.  And, he seemed to enjoy it.

Parenting In Walmart

   You know how employees or fellow shoppers in the grocery store try to "help" you manage your kids?  I know they mean well, but when will they realize that their efforts are futile?  Even if the child obliges to the dear soul, their good behavior only lasts until the stranger is out of earshot.
    Last night I endured another memorable trip to Walmart with my three adorable children.  When we finally reached the produce section (our last stop before the cash register), the older two started pulling the usual sibling act-fighting, tattling, ect...  What I've realized while shopping is that it is way easier to ignore their behavior and keep pushing the cart through the store.  The faster you move, the less people hear.
    One kind employee thought that they would be "helping" by telling my children (in a nice, polite way) to stop fighting with each other.  He acknowledged his futility immediately after by saying, "Wow. That didn't even last the sentence." No, duh.  As we were walking away, the kids started telling each other "I'm going to cut your neck."  My response as I swiftly (well, as swiftly as you can with a shopping cart full of kids) "Yay, violence!"