Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Labor Or Not, Here I Come

   Apparently my last blog posting was not too clear-we are choosing between the two listed names, not looking for more suggestions. That being said, we have had a pretty eventfull weekend/week already.  Saturday I went to the hospital thinking the baby was coming.  I started feeling my belly contracting Thursday night, and Saturday afternoon pain started.  My last labor was pretty quick, so after timing the contractions for an hour, we went to the OB ward. 
   The nurses monitored me for a few hours, but at 8p.m. decided that I was not in "active labor" (dilating 1 cm every hour) so I went home to wait.  And we waited.  The contractions hadn't stopped, only the pain had.  Pain has been coming and going in gentle waves since Saturday, and last night (Monday) it intensified and remained consistent.  So, after timing things again for four hours, we made our way to the OB ward again.  This time they kept us for about two hours before deciding that my body still wasn't ready to give birth yet.  Talk about depressing!
    I feel like this kid is playing with my mind!  I was assuming this labor would be faster than my last without considering the possibility of it actually taking longer.  When we left the hospital last night (well, early this morning) that I told my husband in my frustrated and depressed state of mind that I wasn't going to come back.  I was going to have this baby at home (or wherever I am when he decides to pop out).  Needless to say, this idea does not sit well with hubby & he's determined that I will make it back to the OB ward in time, but we shall see what happens.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Name the Baby

   So, for quite sometime I have favored the name "Jonathan Nathaniel", and since we are expecting a little boy, we decided that this would be *the perfect* name for him...and we would call him "Nate" since the name "Nathan" is in both names....Ahhh...so simple...
   And then, yesterday the name "Malachi Nathaniel" just popped into my head...The name "Malachi" was brought up by some friends of ours-the husband loves the name, but the wife can't see herself giving that name to her child.  After receiving permission from the aforementioned, we are now toying with the idea of changing the baby's first name to "Malachi".
    So, we are taking a poll to see what *you* think we should name our baby boy. Malachi? or Jonathan?  Let the name roll around on your tongue a few times to see how they sound (don't forget to add "Nathaniel"!)
    Cons to naming him "Jonathan": 1. hubby's name is John (and he's a Jr) 2. people thinking we are naming him after his daddy 3. nickname "Johnny"  4. name is 8 letters long
    Cons to "Malachi":  1. adolescent ridicule for his name  2. nickname "Mal"??
So leave a comment to cast your vote!!! We have about 3 weeks (or less!) to decide!!!

Pregnancy Amnesia

   Anyone that's ever experienced pregnancy (or know someone who has) has encountered "pregnancy amnesia".  This is where the soon-to-be mommy forgets just about everything she used to know.  It may come in spurts or just hang around during the entire nine months.  She'll forget where she put things, why she started a task, and even where she's supposed to be at any given moment.
   During this pregnancy, my mind took this condition one step further.  Perhaps it was lack of sleep, or too much stress, but it happened.  One night after returning from a trip to the east coast to see my family, I woke up in the middle of the night, rolled over & wondered who this man sleeping in my bed was.  At first I surmised it was a relative (not my spouse), but confusion set in as I mulled over what he was doing in my bed.  After a few disorienting minutes, I realized it was my husband, but my memories of him seemed so distant and vague.
    A few weeks later, the phenomenon happened again.  I woke up on the couch in our living room not knowing where I was or what I was doing in this strange place.  What is interesting about this encounter is that we have lived in this apartment for the past four years.  However, this too seemed like a vague and confusing memory.
    My third experience with this extreme amnesia occurred a few days later.  I woke up on the couch again and asked the strange man in my living room (my husband in reality) who he was and what he was doing there.  His answer was one of jest and one that I am not comfortable posting on the world wide web.  Needless to say, my feelings of fear were slightly escalated by his response.  It took a few minutes, but eventually my memories fell back into place, only again they seemed distant and vague.  Thankfully, this has been the last occurrence of these escaping memories...for now....

Friday, March 11, 2011

Dead or Alive?

    Guns do not play an important role in the lives of my family members.  We are not a family of hunters or law enforcement and I have never been to a shooting range.  I'm not even sure what a safety on a gun is, or how to use it.  My son does not own any toy guns and he does not pretend to play with them.  (Now, I do not see the harm in owning a gun {in fact, we have one}, we just haven't had the opportunity to use them.)
     These reasons are why I cannot understand where my two-year old's recent actions towards me have stemmed from.  A few days ago, she took a piece of yarn, wielded it in both hands as if it were a gun, pointed it at me, and said something in a threatening tone.  I cannot remember her exact words, but I do remember the look of ill-will on her face. 
     Thinking it was a one-time incident (and hilarious), we didn't talk about her actions.  About two days later, she pointed a crayon at me (right in front of her daddy!), looked very determined, and said "boom, boom".  I guess what disturbs me the most is the way she giggled afterward.  Is she really intent on offing me with live ammo?  Am I in danger of being gunned down by a seemingly innocent two-year old? Why isn't my husband taking this as seriously as I am?  It appears these questions (and more) will plague me for some time....Until then, I shall keep a close eye on my would-be assassin and continue to act aloof to her insidious plans....

The Real Santa

   For years, billions of children (and adults) all over the world have questioned the reality of a jolly fat man in a red suit delivering gifts to deserving youngsters.  The illusion of this reality has been kept alive by well-meaning parents and grandparents.  However, each child eventually comes to the (sometimes devastating) conclusion that Santa Clause does not exist-the role was being played by friends and family.
    I cannot remember being shocked at the discovery that there was no Santa Clause.  My parents never indulged us in the delusion of this man bringing us a gift if we were good for an entire year (do you know how hard it is for children to maintain that standard?).  In my memory Santa was just a fictional character that played in films.
     Choosing whether to pretend there is a Santa or not is a decision most adults must make.  My children see Santa as a fictional character like Dora or Spongebob.  They are not being raised to believe that if they remain "good" for an entire year that they will receive a gift. 
     However, my thoughts on the existence of the reality of this character have been challenged.  I have been presented with the idea that yes, Santa Clause is indeed real and he resides in my house.  My four-year old confessed to us the other day that he is, indeed Santa Clause.

Monday, March 7, 2011

"It's Not Fair"

     So over the past few years I have known some families that have experienced what I refer to as "it's not fair" deaths.  The people who left this world were "too young" to die and the families weren't prepared to suffer such a deep loss.  Well, now it's my family's turn to deal with an "it's not fair" death.  My uncle, who wasn't even 60, passed away this weekend leaving his wife, daughter & other family members & friends devestated.
     I have so many memories of what this man was like when I was growing up-his sense of humor, his cooking (he made the only scrambled eggs I would eat), and all the times we would spend together as a family.  This shall all be greatly missed.
     Rationally, I know that we all have an appointed time to die, but the pain is so raw when you're unprepared.  My grandmother passed away two months ago, but it was something we've been expecting for a while.  It hurt, but we were prepared.  This recent death was a surprise. No warnings.  It shocked us all.
     What's hurting more right now is the fact that I won't be able to be there with my family during this time of mourning.  I'm stuck 1800 miles away because I'm super pregnant (due in 5 weeks) & not in the best of health (getting over an insane bout with pneumonia).  My family knows where my heart is right now, and I guess that's what counts. 
     It's not fair that my uncle will never see his daughter get married.  It's not fair that he won't see her graduate college.  It's not fair that he won't be around for future family gatherings.  It's not fair.  It's not fair that God took him before we were ready to let go.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Update

Yes, I am aware that it has been a few months since I've last written.  We've been busy since January started, including flying back east (while 7mos preggo) for a funeral & visiting the hospital for a nasty bout with pnuemonia.  Once baby arrives I do plan on getting back to writing more, if not daily then at least weekly.
The kids are doing great- Josiah's loving school (he goes 3x's a week) & his weekly speech therapy appointments (she's been taking him swimming recently-he LOVES it!!!).  Amber is acting like a normal independent 2 year old who hasn't quite got the concept of pooping on the potty.
Hubby started a new job this year-they just opened a Rent-A-Center in our small town & he is currently an assistant manager. He's working more hours a week, but he still gets two days off & the store closes earlier than his previous job, so it all balances out.
With baby due in less than 6 weeks we're keeping pretty busy ;)


with my mom & the kids in January

our family Christmas pic